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This post is titled Nice site here. by author SoulJah.
But what particularly got me was this entry...
Source : http://omega.med.yale.edu/~pcy5/japanese/owl.html
I know the feeling.
Outpost Nine
| If you've read some of the other editorials on this site, you may know that I used to be a nice guy. I went out of my way to make people happy. That alone was enough for me, I didn't expect reciprocation. But, when I went through rough times, it was easy to see that those I did so much for were nowhere to be found. It hurt, a lot. Forced me to change who I was. No longer did I do things for people's happiness - I didn't do things for people at all. If I did, there was always the "What do I get out of it?" angle. And at times, I wasn't even remotely nice to the general population. The anger faded eventually and I was able to become less of a jerk, but I still didn't do things for others unless they'd established themselves as a friend, and I saw some possible benefit for myself in it. But then my girlfriend came along, and slowly I opened up to her as I loved her. I went out of my way, pretty much all the time, for her (sacrificing a lot of time, money, among other things). She rarely if ever reciprocated, and it did bother me, but I held my ground and hoped one day she'd change and be more giving. Then, that bitch hurt me in the worst possible way. I mean, I've been counselor to a lot of love problems, and I've heard a lot of downright shitty treatment, but I honestly can't think of anything worse than what she did. Yeah, she's a terrible person and I am in no way repsonsible for the break-up. But I was angry at myself. I'd done it again. I'd given my all for someone so wretched, so undeserving. More than her awfulness, that was eating me inside. I felt my heart turning black again, as I wondered what the point of ever being nice again was. And now I've got Moeko's owl. |
Source : http://omega.med.yale.edu/~pcy5/japanese/owl.html
I know the feeling.
Outpost Nine
Posted by SoulJah at 7:07:00 PM
